Mission!!

Hey everyone!
On Friday, I found out that I got accepted into BYU-Idaho!! WOO HOO!! I was really excited, but something still wasn't sitting right. I realized that I needed to think about a mission now that I had gotten accepted into college. So, on Saturday I decided to fast, pray, and go up to the temple with the question in mind about going on a mission! That day, everything seemed to go wrong. I was late to work, I got a written warning at work about tardiness (I thought I was going to get fired), I couldn't find my temple reccomend. I was so discouraged, stressed, and tired! I got home from work and I put on my temple clothes, and resolved that I would just sit in the parking lot since I couldn't go in. So I sat in my car, reading my scriptures, writing down the ones that struck me as particularly inspirational, and listening to my Paul Cardall station on Pandora. In the Chapters that I read, they all seemed to talk about the Lord helping you, and guiding you with his hand. Finally, I gained the courage to pray about a mission. Part of me was worried that I wouldn't get the answer I wanted. :) Silly me. I asked, and the answer came back so clearly. YES. I need to go on a mission. Being of little faith, I asked "Are you sure?", and again the answer came back so clearly. YES. I felt so overwhelmed! So worried about going, and again, so clearly the Lord said one simple phrase that calmed all my fears. "You are my Child". I have never felt the spirit stronger in my life. I was sitting in my car crying my eyes out. I am so grateful for this gospel. The Lord answers our prayers.
On Sunday I received my papers, and I'm starting them! I can't submit them until July, but I'll be able to go in the beginning of October!
I know that this is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that he suffered for us. Christ knows each one of us, and he loves us for all the faults we have. Our Father in Heaven loves us. He fears for us in the terrible world we live in, which is why he gave us Christ and the Atonement. I love the Gospel and the peace it bring to my heart. No matter how stressed, depressed, or discouraged I am, I always find Gods love through the scriptures. I have felt his love so strongly as I have gone through the trials in my life. If you ever need someone to talk to, the Lord is the best person. He sees the big picture, He Knows You. He wants to help you. Just reach out to him!
I love you all! I'm really excited to go on a mission :) It wasn't what I had planned, but the Lord knew what I needed to be doing!
I'll you updated!

Over thinking

Sometimes I think. I just sit and think. I think about my life, and where it's going, where I've been, how my life is now, the people in my life, the people I may meet, the people I have met what I have to do for school, what I haven't done for school, what school ill be going to in the future. Etc. you get the picture. Well lately I've been thinking a lot. Mostly about the person I want to become, the person I am. This is probably brought on by watching the couples in my life (I've been thinking about marriage) watching my parents, Rick and merr, reading katelins blog, watching my friends relationships, and it finally hit me that you are who you marry. So of I want a good person? I gotta be a good person. We all know this! I feel so inadequate when looking at my future. I feel like a small ant, looking to climb a skyscraper. The only thing that keeps me going is that Christ is there helping me up. Helping me reach new heights, and I know that through him, I will always succeed and I will be able to overcome any discouragement.
This whole week has been one big discouragement. But going to seminary, and mission prep, and church have been the only thing keeping me going. They are my water stations in marathon of life! And I am so thankful for them. I am so thankful for the friends that I have who always encourage me, even though I complain. I'm so thankful for my family, who can always make me laugh. I'm thankful for the life I'm living!

Sincerely,
your thinker

Writer? Composer? Author? Storyteller?

Whatever you call it, I've been writing. I've found that my stress is easier to deal with when I write. Weird since I'm making up fictional characters. I thought that I'd post a couple of my snippets, and let you guys decide. Should I post more l? Or should I stop the horrible writing torture? You tell me :) here we go!

1. One look at the grey sky told her it was going to rain. With a sigh, she hitched her backpack higher on her shoulder and trudged into school, trying to be positive about the busy day ahead.
Looking up as she walked in the doors, her stomach dropped as she caught a glimpse of his walking down the hall. Hands in his pockets, a slight beat in his step, his tousled hair gave him the cool air of someone who hasn't a care in the world.
Suddenly aware she was watching him, she turned down the opposite hall, wondering to herself why he was walking down that hall. Pushing it out of her head, she resolved to put him out of her head.

2. She woke with a start, then wished she could go back to sleep as she remembered that she was no longer his. Closing her eyes against the pain that tore at her heart, she reminded herself that she didn't need him. Trying to push away the memory of her dream, she threw her legs out of bed and into the bathroom. Observing herself in the mirror, she saw a sallow faced girl looking back at her. Resolving to change her reflection, she forced a smile on her face, and started her morning routine.

Pushing back her chair and glancing at the clock, she sighed. Her day had not been as productive as she had hoped. Her dream from the previous night had kept haunting her thoughts. Running her hands over her forehead, she resolved to focus on her project. A voice interrupted her thoughts. "Contemplating the problems of the world?" Her head jerked up. It was Brandon. Leaning against the door to her office, he looked like he had walked straight out of "Lawyers Weekly". A smart suit with a powerful red tie, he looked the part of attorney. Why he worked at an accounting firm, she had no idea. Smiling, she said "the world has too many problems to contemplate!" Pushing off the doorframe, he put his hands in his pockets, giving her the smirk she knew so well. Her heartbeat quickened at the sight. She chided herself, they were just friends. "The world might be a better place is more people like you contemplates its problems." He said, a sudden dark look shadowing his handsome features. As quickly as it had come, the shadow passed leaving her wondering if it had been there at all. He smiled. "I came in to see if you wanted to go to lunch with mile, Danielle and I?" His tone was so invitingly and even though she knew she needed to start on her project, she accepted. "Let me grab my purse!"

3. Hot, searing pain ripped through her abdomen. She looked down, stunned by the blood seeping through her shirt. She looked up at the cruel face of the man who had shot her. How could she have been so naive? She should have called for backup! The strength left her legs, and she crumpled to the ground, gravel digging intro her cheek and chin, the smell of garbage and dirt filling her nostrils. The world was dimming, her vision blackening. She struggled to stay lucid. Gravel crunched nearby, and the sly voice of her killer washed over her. "Maybe the police will learn their lesson now. Don't mess with the McNally family." He cursed softly under his breath. That's when she heard it. The sound of police sirens drawing closer. She prayed it was her team coming to rescue her. With that prayer in mind, her vision blackened and he passed out.

Let me know what you think! Love you all!! :)